Everyone Can Be Therapeutic
Artwork Credit: My three-year-old daughter.
We’ve all been there. A child is upset—maybe your niece refuses dinner, a student is crying in the hallway, or a friend’s little one is melting down in the Target checkout line. In those moments, we think: “If I could do something, I would,” or “What can I do right now to make this less uncomfortable (for them or me!) ?”
That pause, that intention, is at the heart of therapeutic intelligence.
What Is Therapeutic Intelligence?
To be therapeutic means to bring about healing, calm, or growth through your presence—whether or not you’re a professional. Your words and actions can offer emotional relief, insight, or resilience. Therapeutic interactions—between caregivers and children, friends, or family—help people feel safe enough to explore, connect, and grow.
You don’t need credentials to be therapeutic. You just need empathy, intention, and a willingness to respond.
Therapeutic intelligence isn’t exclusive to therapists or experts. Parents, coaches, librarians, bus drivers, neighbors—anyone who interacts with kids can show up in ways that support emotional well-being. Just like in the movie Ratatouille, where the mantra is, “Anyone can cook!”—I’ll say it loud: “Everyone can be therapeutic!”
Making Mental Health Support More Intuitive
Imagine if our approach to mental health felt as intuitive as caring for physical health. Headache? Take a Tylenol. Scraped elbow? Grab a Band-Aid. We know what to do, and we do it.
I often tell other parents, “You don’t need to come to me just to learn deep breathing. Look it up on YouTube—you’re resourceful! Then, when you come to me as a therapist, I can help you tailor it for different situations.” Mental health can be part of everyday life—not something locked inside a clinic.
Where Does This Idea Come From?
Therapeutic intelligence isn’t my term. I first heard it from Dr. Bruce Chorpita, a psychology professor at UCLA, during a scientific conference. He described therapeutic intelligence as the task of organizing everything psychological science tells us in a way that’s useful and actionable in daily life. He calls it metaknowledge—knowing how to structure, coordinate, and apply knowledge. In short: “What do I need to know, when, to help someone?” And how do we design a world where that is possible to help children in a way that they need?
I was hooked. That’s exactly what I’ve always cared about as a mental health practitioner: how to bring mental health out of the clinic and into everyday life. I took a step in that direction with my book, A Developmental Systems Guide for Behavioral Health Practitioners, written for professionals and trainees. It’s meant to make mental health concepts more concrete and accessible—and in Chapter 4, I share a dialogue with Dr. Chorpita about this idea of therapeutic intelligence.
He offers a powerful reminder:
“Anything that’s known to any human about what’s healthy should be knowable to every human, so we can be healthy. If humans have discovered something that’s helpful, everyone deserves to know it as soon as they need to.”
The Takeaway
Being therapeutic isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up with presence, compassion, and evidence-informed intention. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, neighbor, or friend—you already have what it takes to make a difference.
A step to building our collective therapeutic intelligence – share what you know! I’d love to hear your stories or share resources. How do build therapeutic intelligence in your daily life?
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
Originally posted on LinkedIn: Everyone Can Be Therapeutic